New “Waiting and Working” .pdf for downloading

Okay, CSL, I have read your articles about the Bad Teaching that we have heard about marriage, and I have read what you had to say about good teaching, and I even agree with you. I’ve even spoken to my wife about how I think that we don’t have a good or happy marriage at this time? So now what? What am I supposed to do?

Again, I’m not a marriage counselor, but since when has that stopped me before? You are either thinking about doing your version of The Shot Across the Bow, or you are waiting for some kind of response to it, and don’t know where to go from here. In the past, I have written about what I call The Interim, which is that period that you are now it. I have just uploaded a new .pdf for helping refused spouses with the things that they can do to help themselves as they wait to decide, and some of the things to consider as you think about what you want your marriage to be.

If you are in The Interim, if you don’t know what you should be doing, this .pdf is for you. It is available for downloading on my Free Downloads page, listed in the side bar.

CSL

Reader Response: Help for the Truly P*ssed

In my last post, I stated the obvious, in that I am not that good with the Kleenex and crumpets, that I am not really that swift as a counselor. Yes, I can give you common-sense thoughts, but that doesn’t mean that I have a shingle hanging outside my door. With that caveat, I want to address a recent comment that was made on one of my Ugly posts. I will try and address this husband’s issues, and (fingers crossed) hope that I help him and others who are in his situation. (Using my s.o.p., I address paragraphs as they come.)

This husband wrote:

Our problem starts with number one. What am I supposed to do when God (I should say church) IS the problem?

Answered in my post The Church and Your Marriage: What Could Go Wrong? First off, of course, God isn’t the problem. Men and women and their distortion of God’s word is the problem. In essence, my answer is three-fold. 

Echoes from My Well of Silence

Hello, folks; long time, no see, and all. I recently received some emails from readers who called down into the well, “Is anybody there… body there… body there?” (When you have people checking you for a pulse, you realize you’ve been gone too long.)

Yeah, I have been silent for some time, as it’s been over six months since I have made any posts on this blog. First off, my family had to fight off the annual winter plague that descends upon the CSL household around Christmas and lingers for months. Add to that Wife and Daughter #1 making three trips to the hospital in Feb. (two in ambulances), and I recently had to have dental surgery, I think I have a plausible alibi for my extended absence. Alibi, but not an excuse, if I’m being honest with myself.***

Marital Idolatry, part 1

 

 

 

 

(This is the first of a three-part series; here are the links to part 2 and part 3.)

Recently, someone reminded me of Mark 2:27, in which Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” The Jewish religious leaders, the Pharisees, had asked Jesus why His disciples didn’t follow the Sabbath regulations, and Jesus told them that the Sabbath regs that they had instituted were not the Law of God, and that God’s command of the Sabbath was made for man, not the other way around.

One person tried to object, saying that the laws of God were God’s revelation of His character, and that in giving the Sabbath law, He was making requirements for man to follow in order to be in line with God’s righteous character, not doing something for man’s benefit. It seems to me that this man is rather small-minded: why can’t it be both?

Great Minds ……..

You shall not crucify mankind on a cross of gold! ~ William Jennings Bryan, 1896

You shall not crucify your Christian brothers and sisters on the Institution of Marriage ~ Curmudgeonly Librarian, 2014

 

This is a thought that’s come to me in the past couple of days, and I’ve been turning over in my mind. A blog post or two will follow, I’m certain.

“Find Thyself A Teacher”

In the Blogging 101 sphere, we are to write about, flesh out, comments that we might have made in visiting other blogging sites (the visiting was the assignment, yesterday.) One of the sites I came across was of a woman who is a Life Coach, and that triggered some questions and thoughts in me.

I am not clueless when it comes to Life Coaches; I listen to two podcasts, and both of them offer ‘coaching’. One of the podcasts, Sexy Marriage Radio, is hosted by Dr. Corey Allen, who is a licensed counselor, and who does counseling/coaching. His co-host, the popular author Shannon Etheridge, a licensed “Life Coach”, who conducts marriage workshops.

Why Marriage?

Having looked at the concept that God created marriage to make people holy and having rejected it, is there anyway to discover the purpose of marriage?

It seems to me that the best thing to do is to go to the source, to see what God said at the beginning, when He created marriage. The place to look, is of course, Genesis 2, where we read:

Happy vs. Holy, pt. 3

(Most of what follows has appeared already on a marriage forum where I have posted, but for the sake of this blog, I’m updating and adding. This is the third of a three-part series; here are the links to part 1 and part 2.)

In my last post, I discussed the folly of trying to say that marriage is God’s tool for building character, as we know that tribulation is the stated method for that. After all, God’s view  marriage as a cross and a martyrdom? While I know of one person who actually believes himself to be a martyr to marriage, I’m pretty sure that his view is an extreme minority.

Contrasted with the idea that God’s intentions for marriage are to fit us for His Kingdom are the Biblical statements that tell us we are to find joy and happiness in our marriages. Proverbs tells us that we are to find sexual happiness in our marriage beds:

Happy vs. Holy, pt. 2

(Most of what follows has appeared already on a marriage forum where I have posted, but for the sake of this blog, I’m updating and adding. This is the second of a three-part series; here are the links to part 1 and part 3.)

Let me begin by saying that I do believe that we are to find our true self in God, that He is the source of our life, and not someone else. We do not find our worth from our husband/wife. But here’s an idea to think about, to look at.

Isn’t it possible that He has delegated some of the responsibility to us, as husbands and wives, to bring and be happiness and joy for our spouses?

Happy vs. Holy, pt. 1

(Most of what follows has appeared already on a marriage forum where I have posted, but for the sake of this blog, I’m updating and adding. This is the first of a three-part series; here are the links to part 2 and part 3)

I believe that there is a bad teaching about marriage and relationships that is popularly expressed, that even sounds ‘holy’, but is a crock. The thought has been expressed that, ultimately, our spouse is not responsible for our joy, our happiness. And, yes, that is true, as long as you realize that you can’t be a “co-dependent” drudge who gets your life from another. After all, you stand before God on your own two legs, not someone else’s.