Why Marriage?

Having looked at the concept that God created marriage to make people holy and having rejected it, is there anyway to discover the purpose of marriage?

It seems to me that the best thing to do is to go to the source, to see what God said at the beginning, when He created marriage. The place to look, is of course, Genesis 2, where we read:

Happy vs. Holy, pt. 3

(Most of what follows has appeared already on a marriage forum where I have posted, but for the sake of this blog, I’m updating and adding. This is the third of a three-part series; here are the links to part 1 and part 2.)

In my last post, I discussed the folly of trying to say that marriage is God’s tool for building character, as we know that tribulation is the stated method for that. After all, God’s view  marriage as a cross and a martyrdom? While I know of one person who actually believes himself to be a martyr to marriage, I’m pretty sure that his view is an extreme minority.

Contrasted with the idea that God’s intentions for marriage are to fit us for His Kingdom are the Biblical statements that tell us we are to find joy and happiness in our marriages. Proverbs tells us that we are to find sexual happiness in our marriage beds:

Happy vs. Holy, pt. 2

(Most of what follows has appeared already on a marriage forum where I have posted, but for the sake of this blog, I’m updating and adding. This is the second of a three-part series; here are the links to part 1 and part 3.)

Let me begin by saying that I do believe that we are to find our true self in God, that He is the source of our life, and not someone else. We do not find our worth from our husband/wife. But here’s an idea to think about, to look at.

Isn’t it possible that He has delegated some of the responsibility to us, as husbands and wives, to bring and be happiness and joy for our spouses?

Happy vs. Holy, pt. 1

(Most of what follows has appeared already on a marriage forum where I have posted, but for the sake of this blog, I’m updating and adding. This is the first of a three-part series; here are the links to part 2 and part 3)

I believe that there is a bad teaching about marriage and relationships that is popularly expressed, that even sounds ‘holy’, but is a crock. The thought has been expressed that, ultimately, our spouse is not responsible for our joy, our happiness. And, yes, that is true, as long as you realize that you can’t be a “co-dependent” drudge who gets your life from another. After all, you stand before God on your own two legs, not someone else’s.

Holy Matrimony?

Have we made marriage into a Holy Grail? In the last Indiana Jones movie, the final, climactic scene was in a chamber filled with chalices, cups and goblets. Indiana’s task was to choose, from among all these cups, the one cup that was used at the Last Supper. There were silver cups, there were gold goblets, there were chalices encrusted with jewels. Among all these bejeweled chalices was a simple wooden cup, the “Grail”, the simple cup of a carpenter.

I’m wondering if Christians haven’t done the same thing with marriage, encrusting it with pseudo-spiritual trappings. As an example, in my own life time I have seen something added to weddings that is considered almost de rigueur today. What am I talking about? The Unity Candle. Can you imagine a wedding without a unity candle, today? Of course not; it’s a symbol of God’s eternal love and the couple becoming “one flesh”. However, back in the 60s and 70s, when I first started attending weddings, there were no unity candles. Today, they are a must, they are a part of our traditions.

There seems to be an innate desire to spiritualize the events of our life and give things around us spiritual significance, even if there is nothing inherently spiritual about them. Marriage, of course, is one of these occasions.

I can’t really mean that, can I? As good and earnest Christians, we KNOW that marriage something special, something holy. After all, it’s a sacrament, right? And what better way to prove it that to have a communion service for the bride and groom during the wedding? This is another addition to wedding ceremonies that have become popular, and becoming more and more common today.

I’m not arguing against traditions. Traditions are great. In fact, I read an excellent statement that gives the proper place for traditions. “Tradition is the living faith of the dead, traditionalism is the dead faith of the living.” By all means, let us have our traditions. However, do not raise them to the point of holiness, and imbue them with special spiritual significance. The things that God calls “Holy” are holy, and the things that we may add as we go along, while good, are not holy.

So let us have weddings, let us have traditions, but let’s not raise the ceremony and the accompanying trappings that we like to the point of being holy and sacred. Someone married in a hut in India is just as married as someone married in St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

CSL