This is the first of a three-part series; here are the links to part 2 and part 3.
In my first Indifferent Muddle post, I referenced Emerson Eggerichs’ Love & Respect, a book I recommend highly. I mentioned how he and the Byerlys, of Generous Husband and Generous Wife, speak of good-willed spouses, husbands and wives who do have goodwill in their hearts toward each other. It was in that first post that I discussed that not all marriages have spouses who are still good-willed, hence the Indifferent Muddle. Continue reading
Many of the authors and bloggers I read make it a point to emphasize generosity and good-will. Two of my favorite bloggers are Paul and Lori Byerly, authors the Generous Husband and Generous Wife blogs (I read them every morning, without fail.) Another example would be Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love & Respect, who peppers his writings with statements on how most spouses are not evil jerks and witches, but truly do have good-will for their mates (a statement with which I agree, by the way). Continue reading
In checking the calendar, I’m surprised to see that today is the second anniversary of my first post of this blog. It gives me an opportunity to reflect on what, if anything, I’ve done in my second year.
In coming into 2016, I did make a decision about the content of the blog. When I was flush with the excitement of sitting down to a laptop and flinging thoughts out at the world, …, well, I admit it. I let myself run all over the lot. I started posting about one of my favorite things in life, old movies. I posted about favorite films, favorite actors, and even favorite character actors, the ones you see and say, “Oh, yeah, I remember him/her!” Continue reading
There is a story that I’ve read where a son writes a letter to his folks telling them that he is gay and that he’s coming out of the closet, that he is going to announce this to the family’s church on the coming Sunday. Then, on the second page of the letter, he tells them that he is NOT gay, but that he got an F in Algebra. He concluded with, “Seems rather insignificant now, doesn’t it?”
I will admit that my ‘surprises’ are insignificant as well, but still, well,… They are my surprises, none the less. Continue reading
In my last post, I commented on how refused husbands could relate to and apply the wisdom and knowledge that Chris Taylor, of Forgiven Wife, poured into her blogpost, “I Promise, I’ll Do Better.”
The first part of her post dealt with questions she recommended that a recovering refuser think about asking her husband in order to be intentional in rebuilding their marriage. She told how after discussions or fights about intimacy, she would say to her husband, “I promise, I’ll do better,” but not know what ‘Better’ looked like. I suggested that when refused spouses are given that amorphous promise, they start thinking about what ‘Better’ would actually look like. So, in this episode I want to present a couple of thoughts on her further suggestions about planning and communicating with your wife after your discussion.
(This is the fifth of a five-part series; here are the links to part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4.)
In my previous post, I presented how Mr. Natural is the Christian Go-To Marital Tool in many marriages. “Things will work themselves out in the end,” couples are told. What they are not told is that the end might be a devastating divorce or miserable marriage. I believe that The Student is the antidote to Mr. Natural. *
Before I begin, however, I believe it imperative to state two premises that need to be taken as ‘givens’.
First, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage because there are no perfect people. Paul Byerly has said in one of his Generous Husband posts that all men come into marriage with a broken idea of intimacy due to porn in today’s society. I believe that there is no such things as a person who enters marriage whole. We are all broken, in some way, due to the fact that we live in a fallen world, and we have been nurtured in our selfish ways by this world. Whether it be because of bad teaching or bad experience, all come into the marriage with good intentions but broken conditions. Continue reading
(This is the second of a five-part series; here are the links to part 1, part 3, part 4, and part 5.)
So, there we were, in 2010. A Good Christian Couple (GCM™ and GCW™), not unhappy. But not happy, at all.
Due to arthritis, sleeping downstairs, in a recliner. Because of her responses to harmless banter, I “knew” that she didn’t really like sex, and basically put up with it. So I stuffed down my wants to just once a month, so as not to “inflict myself upon her any further” (a line from Cat Ballou – I speak fluent Cinema.) December of 2010, I didn’t even bother, so we officially arrived at Sexless Marriage status – less than once a month. Continue reading