Point of Personal Privilege and Pride

Readers, this has nothing to do with the purpose of this blog, but is merely, as the title says, a point of personal privilege. After all, it is my blog, and I hope you will excuse me.

My son and his wife are musicians in Tennessee, and today, they released a single on all sorts of streaming sites. I’ve been sitting on this news for a long time, as the song that they were finally able to release was used in a documentary for Lee University’s 100th anniversary this year.

If you stream music from any of the sites listed below, search for Send Me Forth by Stormy and Adrian. I love the song, and I think you will too. Please, stream, buy and listen. You will enjoy it.

CSL
(one proud papa)

Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, TikTok, Google Play/YouTube, Amazon, Pandora, Deezer, Tidal, Napster, iHeartRadio, ClaroMusica, Saavn, Anghami, KKBox, and MediaNet

1 Comment

Filed under Personal Privilege

Announcing a New Resource

new resource

I ended my last post hinting at trying to develop something new and useful for my readers, and I have finished the first resource.

In my header photo, regular readers will notice that there is a new options/menu. I have created a FREE DOWNLOADS page, and have put up the first resource. In looking at the structure of blogs, the first thing that strikes you is that they are in a stream-of-consciousness format. The last “thought”, or post, is surplanted by the latest post, and moved down. At some arbitrary cutoff point, previous posts disappear from the Home Page, and you can only get to them by either clicking the Older Posts link at the bottom of the home page, or searching for them via the Archive menu or Search box that are usually in the side bar.

Knowing that my posts deal with topics in what I hope are helpful series, and that they are scattered on who-knows-how-many Older Post pages, I was concerned that finding needed information might be difficult for people who come to my sight looking for help with their sexless marriages.

A couple of years ago, I did create the Sexless Marriage page that is linked in my header, in which I aggregated several of my series onto one page, and I think that worked for a while. However, still necessitated following links to posts scattered over many pages/years. And so I decided to simplify info searching for readers.

Using my electronic devices, I am going to gather and edit my posts into .pdfs that I hope will be helpful. By clicking the Free Downloads link at the top of the page, you can go and download the first .pdf that I have pulled together and made available. I hope to add to the collection at the rate one a month, or at least one every other month.

I hope these .pdfs will be of help to you, my readers.

CSL

4 Comments

Filed under Marriage & Sexuality

Has It Been Five Years, Already?

cake

Yeah, I guess the calendar doesn’t lie. It was Oct. 18, 2014 that I posted my first article on my new blog, The Curmudgeonly Librarian. As I have indicated elsewhere, I am not a professional counselor, social worker, etc. I am just a crusty old coot (just turned 70!!!) who has done a few laps around the sun and observed a few things while doing so.

Does this qualify me to give out pronouncements on marriage, Christian or otherwise? Obviously I think so, but that isn’t anything that is beholden to you to accept. I will say that I do believe that there is some truth in that old aphorism that says to really screw something up, call in a professional. I do know that we are told that old men should teach young men, and old women should teach young women, so for good or ill, I took up my laptop and started writing.

Before Be Five Be Four!

That is a line from my favorite poet and cartoonist, the late great Walt Kelly. Curmudgeonly Librarian has been four and is now five. Have I learned anything? Yes, I think so, anyway.

First, I accept that I am a niche blogger. I have one message for a single audience. I write to and for Christian men, an underserved audience, I believe. Oh, there are many who want to lecture them and tell them how to be good little Christians, but precious few who want to build them up in God. However, I have no illusions of grandeur and accept that Curmudgeonly Librarian is and will always be a small blog, a voice in the wilderness. I  subscribe to the saying that says that if you can’t be the beach, be willing to be a pebble.

Second, I have learned that, for that niche audience, my blog has been a great help. Now, admittedly, I don’t reach a lot of people. But those few who come looking for me tell me that this small oasis is just what they need.

Third, I’ve noticed something in my viewing stats that is intriguing. WordPress, the company that hosts my blog, has a free service in which they record daily the number of visitors that come to my blog, and the number/title of articles that are accessed on  the Curmudgeonly Librarian. For some time now, I have noticed a trend, that I think gives me insight into the minds and hearts of those who come here.

What I have noticed is that there is a weekly pattern to my statistics. Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays are the site’s slowest days, as there is a decline in the numbers of readers who come here as the weekend approaches. But on Sundays and Mondays, there is a huge spike in visitors and views that begins to taper off as we move into the week. What that tells me is that disappointed, hurting people come to my website because of another sexless weekend, one in which they had hoped that somehow, some way, they might have been able to have intimacy with their wives. But the fact that Google, Bing, Duck Duck Go, and other search engines send people to my blog via the search term Sexless Marriage after the weekend tells me that there are people with dashed hopes.

One of my mantras is that marriage shouldn’t hurt, for either husbands or wives, and it bothers me to see the amount of pain that is caused by husbands, wives and, unfortunately, the Church.

New Resource Coming?

Finally, as I have been looking at my blog, with its posts all laid out chronologically, as all blogs are, I think I see a way to organize my content in such a way as to make it more accessible. With that in mind, I am working on a small project that I hope will be useful. I hope to have the first efile up by the end of the month.

Hope to see you soon.

CSL

Cupcake image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

1 Comment

Filed under Marriage & Sexuality, Sexuality

“Leaving Ignorance Behind: Pharisees, part 3” [link]

There is a new post on my other blog, CSL On The Bible, should you be so inclined…

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Respect: A Dirty Word?

tongue

In my first post after my undeclared sabbatical, I spoke about how one influential blogger has apparently decided that men are pretty much second class citizens in Christian marriage, anymore. In reading her posts attacking Emerson Eggerichs’ Love & Respect, you are faced with the undeniable fact that Madame DeFarge** embraces the teaching that husbands owe their wives “unconditional love” (after all, LYWACLTC™, don’t you know?). Readers of this blog will recall that in past posts, I have debunked the idea of unconditional love, but, hey,  it’s a major tenet of today’s Church, almost approaching the status of accepted orthodoxy. 

Be that as it may, in one of my Bad Teaching posts, I did demonstrate that the command for husbands to love their wives was accompanied by the command for wives to respect their husbands (this can be found in Eph. 5.33). I pointed out that due to parallel construction, either love and respect are both unconditional or neither is unconditional, that it isn’t a mix ‘n’ match set. It’s just not kosher to say that the husband has to love his wife unconditionally, whereas wives only have to respect their husbands conditionally. Nope. T’aint fair, t’aint biblical.

But this is exactly what Madame DeFarge argues on her blog. In fact, when one commenter said that while a husband’s love should be unconditional but it was alright to require a wife’s respect to be earned, Mme. DeFarge replies “Totally agree!” While Mme. DeFarge says that she is a new convert, her history shows that she has been undermining respect for husbands for several years. After all, three years ago, she wrote a post for her followers asking if they respected their husbands TOO MUCH. Continue reading

7 Comments

Filed under Marriage & Sexuality

“Leaving Ignorance Behind: Pharisees, part 2” [link]

There is a new post up on my other blog, CSL On The Bible, should you be so inclined…

Leave a comment

Filed under Christian Beliefs, CSL On The Bible, Uncategorized

Reader Response: Help for the Truly P*ssed

readers respond

In my last post, I stated the obvious, in that I am not that good with the Kleenex and crumpets, that I am not really that swift as a counselor. Yes, I can give you common-sense thoughts, but that doesn’t mean that I have a shingle hanging outside my door. With that caveat, I want to address a recent comment that was made on one of my Ugly posts. I will try and address this husband’s issues, and (fingers crossed) hope that I help him and others who are in his situation. (Using my s.o.p., I address paragraphs as they come.)

This husband wrote:

Our problem starts with number one. What am I supposed to do when God (I should say church) IS the problem?

Answered in my post The Church and Your Marriage: What Could Go Wrong? First off, of course, God isn’t the problem. Men and women and their distortion of God’s word is the problem. In essence, my answer is three-fold.  Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Marriage, Marriage & Sexuality

“Leaving Ignorance Behind: Pharisees, part 1” [link]

There is a new post on my other blog, CSL On The Bible, should you be so inclined…

Leave a comment

Filed under CSL On The Bible, Theology Stuff

Echoes from My Well of Silence

hello

Hello, folks; long time, no see, and all. I recently received some emails from readers who called down into the well, “Is anybody there… body there… body there?” (When you have people checking you for a pulse, you realize you’ve been gone too long.)

Yeah, I have been silent for some time, as it’s been over six months since I have made any posts on this blog. First off, my family had to fight off the annual winter plague that descends upon the CSL household around Christmas and lingers for months. Add to that Wife and Daughter #1 making three trips to the hospital in Feb. (two in ambulances), and I recently had to have dental surgery, I think I have a plausible alibi for my extended absence. Alibi, but not an excuse, if I’m being honest with myself.***

Continue reading

8 Comments

Filed under Marriage, Marriage & Sexuality

The Church and Your Marriage. What Could Go Wrong?

readers respond

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve gone down the road of a personal rant, but a recent comment by a husband who feels somewhat abused by our feminized church culture has me turning to the dark side of the Curmudgeonly Force.

In the back and forth to my Reset #3 post, I responded to a reader’s comment by saying that a refused husband needs to take action in his marriage, and not let things coast along in a sexless marriage. I made the statement that the husband in a situation where the wife insists that he needs to move first should say “This is not a negotiation. Yes, it is my duty to meet your emotional need for connection, but by the same token it is your duty to meet my need for connection, as well. You have to be willing to step up.” Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under Christian Beliefs, CSL On The Bible, Marriage & Sexuality