Tag Archives: Generous Husband

Addressing the Man-O-Sphere: The Last Word

readers respond

In my quick reaction post to questions about the Man-O-Sphere (MoS), I did not spare readers my feelings about the it (okay, I did. I kept it clean.) But I did promise that after I got that rant out of my system, I would address the MoS phenomenon and so, here goes.

First off, let me say that I understand the appeal of the MoS. To borrow terminology from Newtonian physics, it is an equal and opposite reaction to feminism in our society. However, an equal, opposite reaction is not necessarily a good thing. Everyone has seen images of the little device called a Newton’s Cradle, which has 5-6 balls suspended in a frame. When one or two are pulled away from the others on one side and allowed to drop back, the force is transferred through the stationary balls to the other side, and they, in turn, are knocked from their place, and so it goes, back and forth.

I see feminism as one side of the cradle and MoS as the other side. I get the reaction to feminism, but that doesn’t mean that an equal and opposite reaction is corrective. In fact, I believe that it is just as toxic as the feminism that it reacts to.

Trashing The Low-Hanging Fruit First

I’m assured by those with greater familiarity with the MoS that the Pick-Up Artists (PUA) and the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) troglodytes represent a small percentage of the MoS. Well, good. Fine. I’m pretty sure that the all men are rapists and all sex is rape advocates represent a small percentage of of feminism, as well, but that doesn’t stop them from being part of their larger whole, does it?

I’m going to assume that we can all agree that the activities and ideas that these sods promote are loathsome and repugnant. (If we can’t agree with that, then fare thee well; this page isn’t for you.)

Red Pill? Blue Pill?

Every movement, every faction that comes into being has its own lingo. In today’s uber-liberal mentality, what with its intersectionality, gender fluidity, and what-have-you, the term du jour is “woke”. As in “I used to be unaware of my cis privilege, but now I’m woke.

If you do any reading around the MoS, you quickly learn that the equivalent term is Blue Pill/Red Pill**. Using terminology taken from the movie The Matrix, the MoS says that men who are still compliant with the culture’s subjugation of men are asleep, taking the Blue Pill of acceptance. On the other hand, those taking the Red Pill are shocked into wakefulness and can see that society has modified the structures of gender roles for the benefit of women to the detriment of men, are given information to fight the System.

As I’ve stated above, I do believe that feminism has been an evil that has done great damage to society as a whole and to individuals by the countless millions. And no, I do not wish to debate this belief. After all, abortion, divorce rates, the current Church of the Castrati that passes for Christianity today, all speak of feminism’s havoc.

A Tale of Two Toxic Journeys

Three years ago, Chris Taylor of Forgiven Wife, published a post that rubbed some of the Femi-sphere the wrong way, and for some time, she was savaged by non-Christian retromingents who accused of her of being a rape-enabler, among other things. Given my cootish tendencies, you can guess that I did not take kindly to their game of Whack-The-Piñata, and played merry hob with their fun (not my most christian moment, I must admit.) However, I did use that moment as an opportunity to springboard into the section of the internet that found her post so objectionable. And let me tell you that it was a toxic brew of anti-Christian hatred, misandry, and paganistic license.

Over the past couple of years, after seeing the MoS referenced by a blogger I highly esteem, I decided to do some exploring and read around the MoS in order to see for myself what was out there. Just as I was sickened by the witchy/bitchy portion of the web that took umbrage with Chris’s christian stance on marriage and sex, I was sickened by the complete misogyny of the MoS.

I have been told that, “yes, CSL, the PUAs and the MGTOW are an aberration, that they are not true representatives of the MoS, but  there are also good Christian MoS sites.” I am going to have to let these people down easily, but I have not been impressed by the readings I have come across. I will say that I read posts by Christian men containing less-than-christian sentiments.

I had the same reaction to the MoS websites that I did to the feminist/queer/pagan websites. I came away from them nearly despairing at the hated, anger, and bile that make up the toxic melange of both worlds.

The Man-O-Sphere Is A Natural Reaction

…, right? Of course it is! In a comment to my earlier MoS post, Paul Byerly, of Generous Husband, noted the following about denizens of the MoS :

… some of the guys have legitimate complaints, while others were horrible husbands who are alone because their wife got tired of it. The second group joins in because it feels better than admitting they were wrong, and it’s easier to gripe about how horrible ALL WOMEN are than doing something to become the kind of man a good woman wants to be with.

While some of the men of the MoS are truly dirtbags (my stated opinion, not Paul’s), Paul B. notes that some of the MoS populace do have legitimate complaints, so naturally they give vent to their complaints.

But that’s the problem with the MoS; it’s a natural reaction, which, for Christians, makes it an ungodly reaction.

Just as women kvetch about being victimized by men, apparently so have the guys of MoS turned to belly-aching about being victims of women. It’s all so natural, so predictable. But here’s the thing—yes, it’s natural, but returning evil for evil and spite for spite is also corrosive and toxic. Paul Byerly said it best when he commented, The Manosphere is a classic example of two wrongs not making a right. The solution to a house fire is NOT to throw on gasoline.”

No Blue Pill, No Red Pill…

Until the early 20th century, the primary treatment for syphilis was mercury, in the form of calomel, ointments, steam baths, pills, and other concoctions. Side effects of mercury treatments could include tooth loss; mouth, throat, and skin ulcerations; neurological damage; and death.
~ “Contagion: Historical Views of Diseases and Epidemics”,

In my mind, taking the red pill of the Man-O-Sphere to counteract the ills of toxic feminism is just as toxic as taking mercury to kill syphilis.

And although I realize that I am being both as cheesy and trite as I can possibly be, I have to urge with all of my being that neither blue or red pills are of any consequence to the Christian man, whether he is single or married. The only that that should matter to him is the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Christian man should be Christian in conduct and in response.

Nuff said,
CSL

** The Blue Pill/Red Pill meme is so ubiquitous, even outside of the MoS, that it has its own entry on Wikipedia.

Disclaimer: I am not a counselor, doctor, or pastor. For that matter, Wife says I don’t play well with others. My advice and comments come from my concern for hurting Christian husbands and wives. Someone once said to me, “Church shouldn’t hurt”, and I believe the same thing goes for marriage. I’m going to call ‘em as I see ‘em, but please, don’t take my word as gospel. Yes, read what I say, pray about what I say, but do your own “due diligence.”

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Now We Are Three

anniversary3

A glance at the calendar shows me that not only did I turn 68 last month, but that today is the third anniversary of the debut of The Curmudgeonly Librarian. In spite of the good advice from those with good taste, I went ahead and started writing, and the jury is still out on the wisdom of the whole mishmash.

In past anniversary posts, I have laid the blame for this blog squarely on the shoulders of those who helped me get this blog set up on Word Press, so there is no need to further sully the reputation of those two excellent bloggers, so Chris and Bonny, you can breathe a sigh of relief on that score. Continue reading

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“… and the Ugly.”: part 3

ugly 3
(Note: in this post, I am addressing husbands who find themselves in Hades-marriages. However, Paul B.’s suggestions and my comments and suggestions apply to any wife who finds herself in the same situation.)
This is the third in a three-part series; here are the links to part 1 and part 2.

With my last two posts, I have been addressing a dirty secret about marriage that we Christians don’t like to talk about, that of truly Ugly! marriages, which rather than “made in Heaven” seem to have been spawned in Hades. These marriages are an embarrassment to us because they mar the image that the church wants to promote, that of marriage as a union “blessed by God”. Continue reading

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“… and the Ugly”: part 2

ugly2
(Note: in this post, I write as addressing husbands who find themselves in Hades-marriages. However, Paul Byerly’s suggestions and my comments and suggestions apply to any wife who finds herself in the same situation.)
This is the second of a three-part series; here are the links to part 1 and part 3.

In my first post about truly Ugly marriages, those spawned in Hades, I wrote about how Paul Byerly, of Generous Husband, had recently experienced an unsettling nightmare, in which he dreamt of being trapped in a Hades-marriage. His next post told of his thoughts on how he would attempt to deal with the situation if he were in one. Continue reading

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“… and the Ugly”: part 1

ugly1

This is the first of a three-part series; here are the links to part 2 and part 3.

In my first Indifferent Muddle post, I referenced Emerson Eggerichs’ Love & Respect, a book I recommend highly. I mentioned how he and the Byerlys, of Generous Husband and Generous Wife, speak of good-willed spouses, husbands and wives who do have goodwill in their hearts toward each other. It was in that first post that I discussed that not all marriages have spouses who are still good-willed, hence the Indifferent Muddle. Continue reading

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Smack Dab In The Muddle, pt. 1

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Many of the authors and bloggers I read make it a point to emphasize generosity and good-will. Two of my favorite bloggers are Paul and Lori Byerly, authors the Generous Husband and Generous Wife blogs (I read them every morning, without fail.) Another example would be Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love & Respect, who peppers his writings with statements on how most spouses are not evil jerks and witches, but truly do have good-will for their mates (a statement with which I agree, by the way). Continue reading

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A Guest Post, (belated info)

In addition to being a curmudgeon, I’m am a social maladept, completely clueless about social niceties and such. For example, it is my wife who does the Thank You’s and such, and often has to remind me about thanking others.* (Have I mentioned that I don’t play well with others?)

My Remiss-ive gene seems to have kicked in again, and I need to give a belated thank-you to Paul Byerly, over at Generous Husband, for hosting a guest post on his blog this past Saturday. It is quite an honor to be able to share with his readers. Thanks, Paul.

CSL

* I wonder if a book by Miss Manners might help me.

 

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Bad Teaching: Women Rule, Men Drool, part 3

 

bad teachingThis is the last of a three-part series; here are the links to part 1 and part 2.

 

In my first post in this series, I presented the possibility (probability?) of a wide-spread acceptance in the Christian church of the idea that women are more godly, holy and spiritual than men, and included quotes from others who said that they have bumped up against the idea. I posited that this assumption might be a reason for the disconnect between men and the Church, and presented findings from a Pew Research study showing that, of all the world’s religions, Christianity is the only one with a greater female membership.

My second post explored material that showed that the presumption of a female-superiority teaching is actually quite possible and that there is a very good likelihood that this teaching is at the root of much of the dysfunction that troubles today’s church. Continue reading

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Bad Teaching: Women Rule, Men Drool, part 2

bad teaching

This is the second of a three-part series: here are the links to part 1 and part 3.

In my last post I presented the idea that, contrary to the teachings of the Bible, today’s church had somehow gotten hold of the idea that women were superior to men and without sin. I admit that it is a novel idea to articulate, but since it seems that this is held as truth by more than a few Christians (however tacitly), this seems like a good time to bring the teaching out into the light of day and examine it.

I cited several writers who have suggested that they have come across the concept in their interactions but didn’t give any particulars or examples, other than to comment that they have observed evidence that it is held by some Christians. While it might be difficult to find a teacher or preacher who openly avows support for such a belief, I did cite a study by the Pew Research group that might demonstrate the results of such a teaching being promulgated. In that first post, I included the Pew Research chart that showed that in all branches of Christianity (save the Orthodox branch) women outnumber men as adherents. The chart further showed that every other major religion has more male adherents than women, leaving Christianity as… Continue reading

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Bad Teaching: Women Rule, Men Drool, part 1

bad teaching

This is the first of a three-part series: here are the links to part 2 and part 3.

We have a problem in the church. It appears that nearly one-half of the church is made up of carnal, fleshly-minded people whose only thoughts are with satisfying their appetites, and have no desire nor ability to truly seek after God. They hide behind a facade of Christianity but, in fact, are incapable of self-control and are unable to submit to the direction of the Holy Spirit and pursue spiritual goals.

I can only be speaking, of course, about husbands, for it is well-known that wives are more spiritual, more holy and more godly than any ordinary man could possibly be. I know, I know; in the past, I’ve said that there are two sinners in every marriage, but today, I repent of such drollery. I have seen the error of my ways. Continue reading

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