New “Waiting and Working” .pdf for downloading

Okay, CSL, I have read your articles about the Bad Teaching that we have heard about marriage, and I have read what you had to say about good teaching, and I even agree with you. I’ve even spoken to my wife about how I think that we don’t have a good or happy marriage at this time? So now what? What am I supposed to do?

Again, I’m not a marriage counselor, but since when has that stopped me before? You are either thinking about doing your version of The Shot Across the Bow, or you are waiting for some kind of response to it, and don’t know where to go from here. In the past, I have written about what I call The Interim, which is that period that you are now it. I have just uploaded a new .pdf for helping refused spouses with the things that they can do to help themselves as they wait to decide, and some of the things to consider as you think about what you want your marriage to be.

If you are in The Interim, if you don’t know what you should be doing, this .pdf is for you. It is available for downloading on my Free Downloads page, listed in the side bar.

CSL

Reader Response: Help for the Truly P*ssed

In my last post, I stated the obvious, in that I am not that good with the Kleenex and crumpets, that I am not really that swift as a counselor. Yes, I can give you common-sense thoughts, but that doesn’t mean that I have a shingle hanging outside my door. With that caveat, I want to address a recent comment that was made on one of my Ugly posts. I will try and address this husband’s issues, and (fingers crossed) hope that I help him and others who are in his situation. (Using my s.o.p., I address paragraphs as they come.)

This husband wrote:

Our problem starts with number one. What am I supposed to do when God (I should say church) IS the problem?

Answered in my post The Church and Your Marriage: What Could Go Wrong? First off, of course, God isn’t the problem. Men and women and their distortion of God’s word is the problem. In essence, my answer is three-fold. 

Waiting, Watching, Working: pt. 4

This 3W series is my attempt to respond to Chris Taylor’s (Forgiven Wife) suggestion that I give refused husbands guidance on what to do in the Interim™ period (by my definition, from the time of ‘awaking & smelling the coffee’ to D-Day). Either before or after The Shot Across The Bow™, I have suggested that these refused hubs spend time with the Bible (to clear away false beliefs) and prayer (to reconnect with the God of Truth). That last (Pray!), while good advice, is akin to giving a novice a dinghy and saying, “There’s the ocean, see you in Hawaii.”

As I said last time, I try to give more than generic advice, and maybe give some specifics. That’s what I want to do in this post. Keep in mind that none of this is Gospel. In fact, there’s very little “how-to” in the Gospels, so read what I say with a multitude of grains of salt, weigh my ideas in your mind, consult other teachers/writers who have given advice and make up your own mind about how you approach praying. But be sure to pray.