Please Lead, part 2

(This is the second of a two-part series; here are the links to part 1.)

In my last post, I recommended to wives who desired their husbands to be spiritual leaders (a valid desire, btw) that they just chill. Well, okay, I didn’t say “chill”, but I did say that maybe they should back off and leave room for God to work. It’s all part and parcel of my reaction to the “let’s make my man in my image” mindset of too many wives.

I know that we come into marriage with expectations, both men and women. Often, our expectations are based on what we have already experienced in our families: my dad was like this, my mom always did that, etc. And when we live with our spouses, our expectations run up against the fact that Hubs isn’t Dad, that Wife isn’t Mom. And right there, we have a choice: we can accept our spouses for who they are and embrace their gifts, or we can be disappointed and begin maneuvers in order to get our spouses to change.

So this brings me to the fact that I have another suggestion for these wives (other than chill, that is):

“Please Lead” (But Do It My Way), part 1

(This is the first of a two-part series; here are the links to part 2.)

In an earlier post, I spoke about the temptation to play Holy Spirit, and help your spouse to “improve”. One unique concern that I often read in different blogs and frequently hear discussed on podcasts is both Christian-specific, and husband-specific. This is not a concern in non-Christian marriage. The problem? “My husband isn’t acting as the spiritual leader of our family.”

In conservative Christian churches, it is commonly taught that the husband is to be the spiritual leader in the home. This is a teaching that I think is correct, but, as we have done with so many teachings, we have over-spiritualized our interpretations and ideals to the point where we are in danger of emulating the Pharisees, whom Jesus accused of binding burdens on the backs of men, but refusing to help carry them.