Tag Archives: Sexy Marriage Radio

What Is Better, Anyway? pt. 2

better

In my last post, I commented on how refused husbands could relate to and apply the wisdom and knowledge that Chris Taylor, of Forgiven Wife, poured into her blogpost, “I Promise, I’ll Do Better.”

The first part of her post dealt with questions she recommended that a recovering refuser think about asking her husband in order to be intentional in rebuilding their marriage. She told how after discussions or fights about intimacy, she would say to her husband, “I promise, I’ll do better,” but not know what ‘Better’ looked like. I suggested that when refused spouses are given that amorphous promise, they start thinking about what ‘Better’ would actually look like. So, in this episode I want to present a couple of thoughts on her further suggestions about planning and communicating with your wife after your discussion.

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Addressing The Sexless Marriage, part 4

frustration

(This is the fourth of a six-part series; here are the links to part 1, part 2, part 3, part 5, and part 6.)

(For the purpose of pronoun simplicity, I am writing the posts in this series to refused husbands. Wives, if you are the one who desires more sexual intimacy, please keep reading, because I believe that pretty much everything I am going to say will apply to your situation, as well.)

In my two previous posts, I presented two versions of The Talk™, both written by a poster on The Marriage Bed forum. I spoke of the necessity of knowing ahead of time just what your boundaries are, just what you feel is acceptable or unacceptable in your marriage. In preparing his Shot Across The Bow, Job29Man decided that  sexlessness would not make-or-break issue for him; he promised his wife that he would be in the marriage whether it was sexless or not. But he did tell her that her actions of neglect were damaging to the heart of their marriage. For his wife, Job’s version of The Talk™ was enough to break through to her heart, and bring about a change in the direction their marriage was heading.

For others, it might not have been enough. In the situation of another man that I know of, the wife’s preference for celibacy trumped any need to improve her relationship with her husband, and she opted for divorce. He did not have to initiate divorce proceedings over his sexless marriage; his statement that celibacy was no longer an option for their marriage was enough for her to initiate separation and divorce on her own.  Continue reading

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Addressing The Sexless Marriage, part 1

frustration

(This is the first of a six-part series; here are the links to part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, and part 6.)

(For the purpose of pronoun simplicity, I am going to write this post, and the ones to follow, to refused husbands. Wives, if you are the one who desires more sexual intimacy, please keep reading, because I believe that pretty much everything I am going to say will apply to your situation, as well.)

I am starting to write a series of posts about dealing with sexless marriage. According to different writers and researchers, the phenomenon of marriages with a restricted or non-existent sex life is on the rise in America. One figure I’m seeing tossed about says 1-in-5, 20% of all marriages, are sexless, or nearly so. I’ve hinted at the topic in previous posts, but now I’m going to write  about attempting to address and change a sexless marriage.

Before I do, however, I want to give some “pre-advice”, something for anyone who finds themselves in this situation, and that is to give serious thought to your approach before starting any course of action. Approaching a spouse who is throttling the marriage bed is not an easy task; a sexless marriage isn’t dealt with by a casual “Hey, you know, our frequency is down, and I think we should make love more often.” Anyone expecting a “You know, you’re right, let’s get it on” is living in La-La Land, and has low-lying Florida waterfront property in their investment portfolio.

Yes, a spouse who creates the sexless marriage needs to be confronted, but before the throttle-ee approaches the throttle-er, s/he needs to do some serious thinking. Continue reading

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Christian Go-To Marital Tools, part 2.2

talk

(This is the third of a five-part series; here are the links to part 1, part 2, part 4 and part 5.)

As my previous post presenting the second Christian Go-To Marital Tool went a little long, I decided to present the antidote to the Milquetoast in a second post. Yes, I believe that the Milquetoast needs an antidote, and so I present the Patrick Henry. *

In my last post, I wrote about how the Servant Leadership teaching, as a reaction to patriarchy (real or perceived), turns the whole of marriage upside down by making the husband the servant, instead of the wife. And now because of the tweaking of biblical interpretation, things are as they should be. Naturally, Servant Leadership is a very popular teaching. After all, as George Bernard Shaw once said, “Any government that robs Peter to pay Paul can count on the support of Paul.” The same goes for Christian teaching, I guess. Continue reading

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The Why and How of My Now, part 2

(This is the second of a five-part series; here are the links to part 1, part 3, part 4, and part 5.)

So, there we were, in 2010. A Good Christian Couple (GCM™ and GCW™), not unhappy. But not happy, at all.

Me

Due to arthritis, sleeping downstairs, in a recliner. Because of her responses to harmless banter, I “knew” that she didn’t really like sex, and basically put up with it. So I stuffed down my wants to just once a month, so as not to “inflict myself upon her any further” (a line from Cat Ballou – I speak fluent Cinema.) December of 2010, I didn’t even bother, so we officially arrived at Sexless Marriage status – less than once a month. Continue reading

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“Find Thyself A Teacher”

In the Blogging 101 sphere, we are to write about, flesh out, comments that we might have made in visiting other blogging sites (the visiting was the assignment, yesterday.) One of the sites I came across was of a woman who is a Life Coach, and that triggered some questions and thoughts in me.

I am not clueless when it comes to Life Coaches; I listen to two podcasts, and both of them offer ‘coaching’. One of the podcasts, Sexy Marriage Radio, is hosted by Dr. Corey Allen, who is a licensed counselor, and who does counseling/coaching. His co-host, the popular author Shannon Etheridge, a licensed “Life Coach”, who conducts marriage workshops. Continue reading

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