(This is the first of a six-part series; here are the links to part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, and part 6.)
(For the purpose of pronoun simplicity, I am going to write this post, and the ones to follow, to refused husbands. Wives, if you are the one who desires more sexual intimacy, please keep reading, because I believe that pretty much everything I am going to say will apply to your situation, as well.)
I am starting to write a series of posts about dealing with sexless marriage. According to different writers and researchers, the phenomenon of marriages with a restricted or non-existent sex life is on the rise in America. One figure I’m seeing tossed about says 1-in-5, 20% of all marriages, are sexless, or nearly so. I’ve hinted at the topic in previous posts, but now I’m going to write about attempting to address and change a sexless marriage.
Before I do, however, I want to give some “pre-advice”, something for anyone who finds themselves in this situation, and that is to give serious thought to your approach before starting any course of action. Approaching a spouse who is throttling the marriage bed is not an easy task; a sexless marriage isn’t dealt with by a casual “Hey, you know, our frequency is down, and I think we should make love more often.” Anyone expecting a “You know, you’re right, let’s get it on” is living in La-La Land, and has low-lying Florida waterfront property in their investment portfolio.
Yes, a spouse who creates the sexless marriage needs to be confronted, but before the throttle-ee approaches the throttle-er, s/he needs to do some serious thinking. Continue reading