This is the last of a three-part series; here are the links to part 1 and part 2.
In my first post in this series, I presented the possibility (probability?) of a wide-spread acceptance in the Christian church of the idea that women are more godly, holy and spiritual than men, and included quotes from others who said that they have bumped up against the idea. I posited that this assumption might be a reason for the disconnect between men and the Church, and presented findings from a Pew Research study showing that, of all the world’s religions, Christianity is the only one with a greater female membership.
My second post explored material that showed that the presumption of a female-superiority teaching is actually quite possible and that there is a very good likelihood that this teaching is at the root of much of the dysfunction that troubles today’s church. Continue reading
This is the second of a three-part series: here are the links to part 1 and part 3.
In my last post I presented the idea that, contrary to the teachings of the Bible, today’s church had somehow gotten hold of the idea that women were superior to men and without sin. I admit that it is a novel idea to articulate, but since it seems that this is held as truth by more than a few Christians (however tacitly), this seems like a good time to bring the teaching out into the light of day and examine it.
I cited several writers who have suggested that they have come across the concept in their interactions but didn’t give any particulars or examples, other than to comment that they have observed evidence that it is held by some Christians. While it might be difficult to find a teacher or preacher who openly avows support for such a belief, I did cite a study by the Pew Research group that might demonstrate the results of such a teaching being promulgated. In that first post, I included the Pew Research chart that showed that in all branches of Christianity (save the Orthodox branch) women outnumber men as adherents. The chart further showed that every other major religion has more male adherents than women, leaving Christianity as… Continue reading
This is the first of a three-part series: here are the links to part 2 and part 3.
We have a problem in the church. It appears that nearly one-half of the church is made up of carnal, fleshly-minded people whose only thoughts are with satisfying their appetites, and have no desire nor ability to truly seek after God. They hide behind a facade of Christianity but, in fact, are incapable of self-control and are unable to submit to the direction of the Holy Spirit and pursue spiritual goals.
I can only be speaking, of course, about husbands, for it is well-known that wives are more spiritual, more holy and more godly than any ordinary man could possibly be. I know, I know; in the past, I’ve said that there are two sinners in every marriage, but today, I repent of such drollery. I have seen the error of my ways. Continue reading
(Just a warning: lots of links. I mean, LOTS of links.)
I know that football is supposedly America’s favorite sport but I love to watch baseball. Baseball fans know that when a baserunner is tagged, he is out. But it hit me the other day that for many who find themselves in sexless marriages, it happens that when one spouse is TAG-ged, it is the other one who is out. As in, “out of luck.”
In my reading, whether it be other blogs or other forums, or even comments in response here on my blog, I see situations in which spouses are suffering in their marriage because of the attitudes, behaviors, and choices of their spouses. This goes both ways, with both husbands and wives being recipients of being TAG-ged.
TAG-ged?!? “CSL, have you been hitting the BBQ sauce again?” No. That just my acronym for a common marital affliction. In my readings, it seems that there are three common problems one spouse may bring into the marriage and it ends up wreaking havoc in the relationship. Continue reading
(A month later, I did a follow-up to this post which can be read here.)
Okay, I’m thinking that this has the potential to get ugly, real quick. I’ve written a number of posts on Bad Teachings in the church, concerning marriage, and I want to address another one that I keep coming across.
It’s no secret that, for decades, the topic of divorce and remarriage has been one of the hot-button issues in the church, even longer than the same-sex debate. Hester Prine wore a scarlet letter for having a baby out of wedlock; for much of the 20th century, anyone who was divorced felt that they were wearing a scarlet “D”, for divorce, in Christian circles. Continue reading
In this Waiting/Working series, I’m trying to present suggestions on what refused husbands can be doing to work on themselves during a waiting period. This “waiting period” may extend from the time that he realizes he is miserable in his marriage and needs to get it right, all the way up to the time said wife decides to **** or get off the pot.
In my last post, I wrote about the need for a refused husband to be in God’s Word in order to transform his mind, cleansing his mind of all the bad teaching that has created Fog in his life. In this post, I want to address the accompanying tool of Prayer. I don’t know if you have noticed this about what I try to do with this blog, but I am big on how-to’s. Continue reading
In my first post in this series, I wrote about how it was suggested to me to address what refused husbands should be doing in their “Interim” period; you know, that period where they wake up and realize that something needs to be done to change their marriages, but they need to get to the place where they can do it. Or maybe they are in that place where they realize that, while they would like to do something, they are in no condition, mentally or spiritually to carry it out.
My first recommendation was to work on themselves, spiritually. From all I’ve read, and all I’m continuing to read, refusal is (to put it bluntly) emasculating, both in a spiritual sense and in a physical sense. My thinking is that a guy in a refusing marriage needs to learn what it means to become a man again.
In saying this, I’m not going all Ah-nold Schwarzenegger on you; after all, I’m a librarian. How butch is that, huh? No, by “being a man again,” I mean learning (re-learning?) what the Bible says about manhood, proper service to God, family and church, and what the Bible has to say about how he should relate to his wife, in every aspect of his marriage. Continue reading
I began this series of posts on bad teaching with a re-examination of the ubiquitous “God’s Unconditional Love” statement. Since that first post, I’ve been deconstruction the malpractice version of “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church”, demonstrating that much of it is a load of, erm, hooey. I’m pretty sure that there have been a few readers waiting for the other shoe to drop.
After all, when you juxtapose my posts on LYWACLTC with my post on God’s Unconditional Love, you just have to believe that I would eventually arrive at the point where these two bad teachings intersect, right? Well, that day is here, as I want to look at the mess that is … Continue reading
Under the heading of Bad Teachings, I’ve been addressing the truly stinkin’ way in which Christian writers and teachers distort the phrase “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church” (herein referred to as LYWACLTC) into unbiblical shapes, all of which, for some reason, seem to resemble clubs with which to beat up husbands. Christian teachers are funny that way, huh?
Anyway, in a previous post, I shared the time that I asked some readers of a Christian marriage forum to give me ideas on just what LYWACLTC did not mean, and we forged a list of ten ideas. In my last post, I discussed the first item on the list, LYWACLTC does NOT mean you become a servant/slave to your wife. In this post, I want to discuss two of the ideas which are very closely related.
LYWACLTC does NOT mean:
3 – allowing her stay in sin just because she is comfortable.
5 – avoiding correction to keep the peace.
In my last post in the Bad Teaching series, I started writing about the idea of what “Loving Your Wife As Christ Loved The Church” (herein abbreviated to LYWACLTC) does NOT mean. After all, I had noted that this phrase from Scripture seems to have become the shibboleth of just about every pastor, counselor and marriage writer I’ve come across.
As I pointed out, I noticed that while these well-meaning advisors, with well-intended advice, can cite Eph. 5:25 like a mantra, they almost NEVER tell us what it means, and more importantly, what it DOESN’T mean. Last year, with that thought in mind, I started asking just what bad marriage advice should NOT be a part of LYWACLTC, and I came up with a list of things that Paul did not intend when he wrote to the Ephesians.
I realize that my ideas are capable of stirring controversy and disagreement, and I intend to discuss the list in depth; however, in today’s post, I am only going to address the first point on my list:
LYWACLTC does NOT mean:
1 – you are to be a slave to your wife.