Marriage/Divorce: Restoring Balance, part 2

balance2

(This is the second of a four-part series; here are the links to part1, part 3, & part 4.)

In my last post, I started addressing a question or two put to me by a reader asking if it is kosher to consider sexual refusal as a valid reason for divorce, a la adultery. After all, he correctly noted, it only takes one act to commit adultery, whereas refusal is a long-term situation. At what point does it become “sexual immorality,” he asked. In fact, he asked that question again in response to my One Coin, Two Sides post:

There is a slight problem with the abandonment is equal to adultery argument in my opinion. The act of adultery along with sexual abuse (may as well throw that in for good measure) is sustained by a single act. A single act of adultery would be grounds for divorce and a single act of sexual abuse could mean a lengthy stay in jail. Now clearly a single act of refusal, even though it may be a break of the marriage covenant, wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow in most circles.
So when does refusal become abandonment and then possibly/maybe grounds for divorce,1-day, 2-weeks, 3-months, 9-months….?

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A Bend In The Journey (link)

Just to let my readers know: I have put up a new post on my other blog: CSL On The Bible.

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April 8, 2017 · 5:06 pm

Marriage/Divorce: Restoring Balance, part 1

balance

(This is the first of a four-part series; here are the links to part 2, part 3 & part 4.)

And, I’m back. I guess. I think. Maybe. Anyway, here I am today.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I follow quite a few marriage bloggers and writers on Twitter, and recently, divorce has been a trending topic among them, with an increase in the number of posts and tweets encouraging Christians to continue to hold on to their marriages for the Kingdom. I can understand that, by the way. Back in December, Michelle Weiner-Davis, of Divorce Busters,  sent out a tweet stating that January was Divorce Month, and recommended that New Year’s Resolutions for starting divorce proceedings be abandoned. Continue reading

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Update/Apology (sort of)

Recently I received an email from a reader who, in essence, dropped a pebble in the well and asked, “Anybody there?” I know that I haven’t posted anything in over a month, and while not a full apology, I guess I need to at least account for myself, as I do see blogging as a responsibility now. Continue reading

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Bad Teaching: Women Rule, Men Drool, part 3

 

bad teachingThis is the last of a three-part series; here are the links to part 1 and part 2.

 

In my first post in this series, I presented the possibility (probability?) of a wide-spread acceptance in the Christian church of the idea that women are more godly, holy and spiritual than men, and included quotes from others who said that they have bumped up against the idea. I posited that this assumption might be a reason for the disconnect between men and the Church, and presented findings from a Pew Research study showing that, of all the world’s religions, Christianity is the only one with a greater female membership.

My second post explored material that showed that the presumption of a female-superiority teaching is actually quite possible and that there is a very good likelihood that this teaching is at the root of much of the dysfunction that troubles today’s church. Continue reading

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Bad Teaching: Women Rule, Men Drool, part 2

bad teaching

This is the second of a three-part series: here are the links to part 1 and part 3.

In my last post I presented the idea that, contrary to the teachings of the Bible, today’s church had somehow gotten hold of the idea that women were superior to men and without sin. I admit that it is a novel idea to articulate, but since it seems that this is held as truth by more than a few Christians (however tacitly), this seems like a good time to bring the teaching out into the light of day and examine it.

I cited several writers who have suggested that they have come across the concept in their interactions but didn’t give any particulars or examples, other than to comment that they have observed evidence that it is held by some Christians. While it might be difficult to find a teacher or preacher who openly avows support for such a belief, I did cite a study by the Pew Research group that might demonstrate the results of such a teaching being promulgated. In that first post, I included the Pew Research chart that showed that in all branches of Christianity (save the Orthodox branch) women outnumber men as adherents. The chart further showed that every other major religion has more male adherents than women, leaving Christianity as… Continue reading

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Bad Teaching: Women Rule, Men Drool, part 1

bad teaching

This is the first of a three-part series: here are the links to part 2 and part 3.

We have a problem in the church. It appears that nearly one-half of the church is made up of carnal, fleshly-minded people whose only thoughts are with satisfying their appetites, and have no desire nor ability to truly seek after God. They hide behind a facade of Christianity but, in fact, are incapable of self-control and are unable to submit to the direction of the Holy Spirit and pursue spiritual goals.

I can only be speaking, of course, about husbands, for it is well-known that wives are more spiritual, more holy and more godly than any ordinary man could possibly be. I know, I know; in the past, I’ve said that there are two sinners in every marriage, but today, I repent of such drollery. I have seen the error of my ways. Continue reading

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The Church and Porn, part 3

porn3

This is the last of a three-part series: here are the links to part 1 and part 2.

Okay, to summarize my two previous posts: Paul Byerly, of Generous Husband, started a discussion among CMBA bloggers about pornography and the efficacy of the Church’s response. This is something I’ve been thinking about, and so did my first post on making the main thing the main thing, and not wandering off on crusades. My second post was a brief (for me, anyway) look at some examples of how Christians have affected society in the past.

Today, I want to try to tie those two posts together in a suggestion/rant (take your pick.) Continue reading

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A Quick PSA

I don’t normally tell my readers about something that is for sale, but this calls for an exception. However, I just received notice in my inbox that an excellent marriage resource is available at a bargain price.

All too often, one of the partners in a marriage is occupying the place of a doormat for the other. Unable to say “No” and desiring to be “a witness for Christ,” they carry the burdens of the marriage in an unequal relationship. One of my recommendations for new readers is to join The Marriage Bed forum (see sidebar for link); one of the most recommended books on TMB is Boundaries, by Cloud and Townsend. It tells how to set proper boundaries in marriage in order to restore normalcy to relationships.

If you use either a Kindle reader or iBooks on an Apple device, the book is available from just $2.99. I am buying it for my iPad and I highly recommend readers get it, as well. 

One final note, I do not have any affiliate programs going, so this isn’t something that I do for support. (This post will stay up as long as the book is on sale.)

CSL

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The Church and Porn, part 2

porn2

This is the last of a three-part series: here are the links to part 1 and part 3.

Members of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Assn. are in the process of discussing the damaging effects of porn on marriage, and how the Church is responding to it. I have been thinking about the issue of porn and the Church’s response, and I’ve come to the conclusion that much of our response, while not necessarily ill-advised, is merely ineffective. In my previous post, I presented the idea that when we choose to come against a sin, we do two things: we approach the fight in our own strength and not in God’s spirit, and we change our identity from Christians to Crusaders.

My thought is that we need to “make the main thing the main thing” by downplaying what we are “agin” and emphasizing the evangelism of our society. In essence, as some might deride it, return to that old time religion. It’s worked in the past, so why do you think that mankind is too sophisticated for God’s good news? Continue reading

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