Addressing the “Man-O-Sphere”

readers respond

In my last post, I made a passing reference to a portion of the Internet called the “Man-O-Sphere” (herein shortened to MoS). I believe my exact statement was, “… idiotic Man-O-Sphere.” One of my readers asked me for more on my antipathy toward the MoS, so this is something I’ve dashed off. I freely admit this is not an attempt at a point-by-point refutation of MoS; I also admit that it is also heavily weighted by my emotional response to what I’ve seen and read by MoS writers, and not a dispassionate rebuttal. Suffice to say that I believe the MoS to be an equal and opposite evil to feminism.

The Man-o-sphere…

First of all, it is composed of an extremely broad collection of types, many of which, to my mind, hold to the very antithesis of God’s creation and design for men and women. Because I try to maintain at least a veneer of Christian temperament, I won’t begin to give vent to my spleen concerning that Man-o-sphere sewer dweller, the execrable pick-up artist (PUA). This particular piece of scum sees women as merely potential notches on his bedpost. There is even a subculture in MoS, the seduction community, built around the idea that women are merely sexual prey to be metaphorically mounted (sorry for that unintentional pun) like heads upon a wall. 

Then there are the straight-up knuckle-draggers of the MoS, the out-and-out misogynists labelling themselves as “men going their own way” (MGTOW). There’s not a whole lot to be said for these jerks, as their words are enough to condemn them. Here’s a quote from one of them “What nobody wants to see when couples are spewing their fraudulent wedding vows lies at each other.” Nuff said. (I feel like I need a shower whenever I encounter a MGTOW site.)

I know of the MMSL phenomenon, and the “red pill” language, speaking “game” and “frame” and “hamsters”. I can understand its popularity, but it relies on deception and manipulation. About three years ago, on a christian marriage forum that I read, a wife came on and started sharing about her marriage and its difficulties. Through investigation and discussion on the christian forum, she discovered that her husband was spending hundreds of dollars getting ‘counseling’ from someone online. And on the MMSL site itself, there was a thread that suddenly was closed by the original poster when the guy posted a goodbye message, saying that he’d been found out by his wife; it turned out that he was the guy that the wife was writing about on the christian forum. If it is so honorable, then why did he have to keep it hidden? 


I get the frustration and anger at what feminism has done to our society, and to our churches and marriages. But that is no excuse for husbands to abandon being a Christian man. I’m willing to stack up my blog entries against anyone else’s in trying to defend husbands; my “Bad Teaching” series alone demonstrates that I have no truck with the castrati of today’s feminized Church. But that doesn’t mean I have to react in kind and renounce God’s truth.

Mankind and womankind are all fallen. In a recent post, I wrote that every marriage is blessed with two sinners loved by God. To me, the fact that God loves wives does not negate the fact that God loves husbands, and vice versa. That means that if I choose to embrace hateful debate and engage in sexual subtrefuge against those loved by God, I depart from God. Yes, be angry about injustices and sins against men AND women, but do so without treasuring injustice and sin in your heart.


In my initial response to the reader who asked for me to give my reasoning on why I dislike the MoS so much, I promised to write an entry giving a fuller analysis; this post isn’t that, being a mere rant. But I am going to work on that this month, so, yes, unfortunately I am going to have to write further about the Man-O-Sphere. And for any of my readers who have dealings with the MoS, I want to share why I believe seeking help there is damaging.

CSL

Disclaimer: I am not a counselor, doctor, or pastor. For that matter, Wife says I don’t play well with others. My advice and comments come from my concern for hurting Christian husbands and wives. Someone once said to me, “Church shouldn’t hurt”, and I believe the same thing goes for marriage. I’m going to call ‘em as I see ‘em, but please, don’t take my word as gospel. Yes, read what I say, pray about what I say, but do your own “due diligence.”

14 Comments

Filed under Culture

14 responses to “Addressing the “Man-O-Sphere”

  1. Phil

    Show me one woman who doesn’t fall for the charm of the ‘Red Pill’ man and I’ll show you ten that do! I’ve lost count of the times I’ve heard about women being taken in by their roguish allure only to be spat out the other side once they realise that they’ll never change his bad boy ways.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, we all have heard the “Bad Boy” thing; it’s even cultivated in our media. But I’m just that much of a curmudgeon that I say, So what? There is one word I have not come across in all the Red Pill sites I’ve bumped up against, and that word, to me, is more important than than any of their ‘games’ or ‘frames’ or what have you. That word is “integrity.”

      So, if rotters are able to “captivate vulnerable women who are weighed down with sins and led astray by various passions,” that just means that they have culled the weak, leaving only those worth having. I ‘m going to be saying something about this in my follow up.

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  2. Theodore Cox

    I had posted lengthy comment to this-maybe too lengthy? Anyway it didn’t show up. I agree with Phil.The sad thing is I see this not only in the secular world and in dating even among Christians, but also in marriages, Christian and otherwise. After all is said and done i think that the major problem is that marriage is not approached from God’s point of view on either the side of the equation or from the perspective of eternal consequences. It’s all about what’s good for me right now. Wives chafe at submission ala Sarah to Abraham style, and husbands struggle with being loving leaders. Red pill theory is an attempt to address the attraction of strong male leadership, but without the lens of Christianity. The headship/submission model for marriage taught in Scripture in most churches is either completely disregarded or given only lip service. That I believe is the Christian answer to red pill theory. The sad fact is because of feminism’s influence even in the church many wives will not submit to or respect their husbands as Scripture commands. A man cannot lead anyone who will not follow, although I believe many men are simply delinquent in the attempt to even try.

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  3. Theodore Cox

    I was considering response involving “holding frame” and integrity. As Christian husband we ought to be holding to the framework God has laid out for marriage, regardless of the cost to our real marriage. Sadly in most marriages this would most likely end in divorce. In this use of the the term holding frame it really is another way of saying holding fast to one’s integrity.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Have you bumped up against Corey Allan, of Sexy Marriage Radio? I listen to the weekly podcast, and if I’m not mistaken, he speaks about standing in integrity. I have some quibbles with his terminology, but integrity is a hallmark of his counseling. And, yes, he recognizes that divorce is a possible outcome of living with integrity. Come to think of it, so did Paul, in I Cor. 7. 😉

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  4. Mitch

    A lot of the manosphere is like Mos Eisley (“a wretched hive of scum and villainy”) because that’s what a lot of the radical third wave feminism is as well. The difference is that my daughter is not being assigned manosphere writings as part of her psychology major in college. But have you read some of the feminist propaganda and bizarre misandry that appears in standard college textbooks? Scum and villainy 101, at taxpayer expense.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are absolutely right, in every point. I agree, 100%. That said, it is not a reason to throw over my Christian ethics. What I can do is tell the truth, that the emperor has no clothes.

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      • Mitch

        It’s not YOUR ethics I’m worried about. It is the cumulative effect that this feminist propaganda has had on several generations of women and men who don’t fully get how much this stuff has permeated society and the church. Our pastor recently did a sermon on Ephesians 5 that was like every red pill man’s worst nightmare. He gave short shrift to verse 22 (wives submit to husbands) preferring to lead the congregation in reciting verse 21 (submit to one another). He then described LYWACLTC™ as meaning a husband is to sacrifice his needs and wants for the wife without any mention of whether those needs and wants might actually be biblical requirements of a marriage. It was very disappointing but sadly all too common in the church. Normally solid biblical teachers and scholars suddenly wimp out when confronted by feminist rebellion, even altering the clear meaning of biblical passages to avoid unpleasant pushback from hyper-sensitive women in the congregation.

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      • Hi, Mitch,

        That was a rhetorical “I”, much like the rhetorical “we”. My point was that a Christian man,when coming up against such evil, doesn’t shed his ethics, but proclaims the truth.

        I see that you have read my Bad Teaching posts, since you use my trademarked abbreviation. 🙂
        If you have any standing in your congregation, you might look for an appropriate forum within your church to give a counter-balancing teaching. At a minimum,schedule a time to meet with the pastor and let him know that you felt that he bitched it up royally (well, maybe not that, but you get my drift.) I would recommend that you prep yourself by reading Eggerichs’ Love & Respect. Oh, and be sure to ask him when he is going to speak on wives having respect for their husbands, a la Eph. 5:33. (Oh, heck, just print out my Bad Teaching posts and let him know that you think his preaching on ‘unconditional love’, ‘servant leadership, and LYWACLTC is at best unbalanced, and quite probably unbiblical.)

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  5. DougK

    [CSL edit – as the owner of this blog, I am concerned about the comments section being transformed into something other than a traditional comment space. Having seen what can happen in unbridled free-for-alls, I don’t want that to happen here. Yet, I know that my readers do want to tell of their experiences, and I am doubtful of my own abilities to be fair, so I do struggle with long responses, so please keep that in mind as you read and respond to this comment.]
    Doug, I’m going to add a couple of comments in your post here, but I would like you to email me for more info.

    I hate a lot of what the manosphere represents, especially PUA and MGTOW. These guys are the small fraction of men that every feminist uses to sow mistrust of ALL men. But I have been married to years to a woman who rejects me sexually no matter how much integrity I have because I can’t compete with the bad boys she used to date before we were married. I was that boring loyal beta dude the some in the manosphere talk about. My wife was the woman who rode the alpha carousel and finally gave up bad boys when she hit the wall of her late 20s. She settled for me because she wanted to have kids and I brought my virginity and naivete into a marriage that has undergone so much stress and chaos that I could not possibly have predicted. My wife never revealed the extent of her youthful folly and as the truth came out over the first several years of our marriage, I began to realize I was completely in over my head.
    CSL – did you seek counseling, either for yourself or for the both of you?

    Reading some in the manosphere (big emphasis on “some”) I have come to realize that the number of women who have this “bad boy” syndrome are a lot more than you have suggested really exist. Perhaps my experience is a small minority. But I am living in the middle of it and have only begun to make sense of my predicament thanks to some of the blogs I have read that you may be lumping in with the manosphere.
    CSL – again, counseling? Also, yeah, we might have to disagree with expanding your experience into a universe.

    I have turned against so much of the “man up” blather that passes for wisdom in the church because they all assume the moral superiority of wives. I am sick of pastors acting like it’s always the husband’s fault for marital problems. I am done with the excuses being made for and by women about how “bad boys” take advantage of “vulnerable” women. I feel like I was the vulnerable “good boy” who is now being victimized. And it isn’t all the former “bad boy” boyfriends who are doing it to me. It is my wife doing it to me. Where is the pastor courageous enough to call the women out on their nonsense?
    CSL – I agree with you, completely. Have you called out your pastor’s gutlessness? If so, and he’s told you, “It sucks to be you,” have you have you moved yourself and your giving to a different congregation? After all, your butt isn’t superglue’d to the pew, is it? Start looking for a church that that you can be a part of. http://churchformen.com/

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  6. Theodore Cox

    CSL, I have not heard of the podcast you mentioned, It sounds interesting. I fear marriage, especially Christian marriage, may become the proverbial unicorn, much as the virgin bride has already. I have six adult sons, and not one of them has any interest in marriage, the youngest is not even interested in women at all other than friendship. And no he isn’t gay. I remarked to one of the girls one of my sons is dating, that my wife had only ever been with me, and her response was that today that would be like finding a unicorn.Now I admit none of them are following Christ, although I pray for them constantly. That being said humanly speaking, the laws surrounding marriage and divorce are just a bad deal for men in this country. Most times a divorced father has little or no say in how the child is raised, and is relegated to being a weekend dad. I’m living this reality with my one grandaughter. As Christian men we have to find an answer for this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pray hard for your boys, as we are now in a culture that often sees men as subhuman. If they don’t learn God’s evaluation of themselves, they will act or react in accordance to the dictates of the culture.

      As to the Sexy Marriage Radio podcast I mentioned, I listen to it each week. It seems to me that Corey Allan closely aligns with the idea of holding to a Christian framework, without drifting into the “game” territory of the MoS. His core term is “solid”, and it seems to me to be a little slippery, but there it is. Here is a link to episode #289, Solidness. I sent an email questioning the term, and they spent the entire episode dealing with my email: https://simplemarriage.net/podcast/solidness/

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  7. CSL – Well done and well said! The Manosphere is a classic example of two wrongs not making a right. The solution to a house fire is NOT to throw on gasoline.
    The other thing is some of the guys have legitimate complaints, while others were horrible husbands who are alone because their wife got tired of it. The second group joins in because it feels better than admitting they were wrong, and it’s easier to gripe about how horrible ALL WOMEN are than doing something to become the kind of man a good woman wants to be with.

    Liked by 1 person

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