Hard Things To Hear, #3: It’s A Man Thing

(This is the third of a seven-part series; here are the links to part 1, part 2, part 4, part 5, part 6 and part 7.)

In John 6:60, some objected to what Jesus was saying: “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?”. While I’m not Jesus, there are some who will attest that I provoke the same reaction. Might be what I’m saying, but it’s possible it might be my manner. Be that as it may, I’m going to pull rank and lay some things on the line in the next few posts. I’m going to present some things that might be hard to hear, but trust me; forty-three years of marriage is coming at ya!

Okay, here’s where I’m probably going to lose my Mr. NiceCurmudgeon image, because I’m going to address a problem that I am reading about, and that is boys pretending to be men. I can’t count the number of times I’ve read of wives – wives! married, get that? – who tell of husbands that spend their time away from work either playing video games or off with their buds seeking some adrenaline rush from their latest exploits. 

I’m sorry to have to tell you this, wives, but you didn’t marry a man; you married a boy. He needs to go back home to his Mama and ripen. In case I’m not being clear enough, these babies need to


For these clowns playing at marriage, I’ve got one verse from the Bible that they need to read and heed:

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. (1 Cor. 13:11)

Unfortunately, due to the clueless nature of our society, we’ve extended adolescence to the late 20’s. We have created a generation of Peter Pans who tell us that they don’t want to grow up, and marriages are suffering for it. Oh, as adolescents, they are horny, and if their good Christians, they know that they have to get married, and so they look around and find a good Christian girl to become their legal “friends with benefits”.

This means that, in their eyes, they are now grown-ups; after all, they’re married now and having sex. Unfortunately, in the eyes of society, they are also seen as grown-ups, and not for the immature boys that they are. They haven’t accepted real responsibilities of manhood, such as building a life and preparing for the future. Instead, they find ways to obtain bigger, more expensive toys, whether it be primo gaming gear, bigger bikes or boats or ‘boards. To these boys, marriage is great because they can live free from Mom and Dad telling them what to do, and they have a sex partner who also cooks and cleans like their moms did. Life is good!

Boys Play, Men Serve

Guys, it comes down to this. When you got married, you didn’t acquire an accommodating French maid, you entered into contract and relationship with a wife. You owe her your entire self, as that is what your marriage contract entails. You promised to love, cherish, and provide as a husband. So begin to do so. Marriage entails responsibility. It means that you accept the role of husband. If you aren’t willing to do that, all you are doing is playing House.

Now, I’ll admit I’m a throwback, but I’m going to give you my mindset, and the analogy that I use is that of a rocket launch site. Think back to every video of a rocket or shuttle launch that you ever watched. Of course, there was the rocket, right, standing erect on the launchpad? And, of course, next to it was the supporting gantry, the framework that provided connection and support to the rocket as it stood on end awaiting launch. Those are the only two components in the launch, right?

Wrong! There is the pad, the launching pad. The pad, itself, is the ground of support that gives support to both gantry and shuttle. That’s the husband. In my allegory, the wife is the gantry, with the connection to the rocket. Archetypically speaking, it is usually the mother that is the more nurturing partner in a marriage, but she needs the support of her husband as she fulfills her role in the marriage. Husbands, you are the support, the base upon which your wife will find her place to stand in this world. It’s your task to provide a wideness for her to nurture her abilities and discover how to use them to serve your family, friends, church and community.

It is the role, the task of the husband to be the grounding for the wife and family, to be the support for those under your care. And mark what I say, God sees that they are under your care. You are going to be accountable to God for them.



Filed under Marriage & Sexuality

11 responses to “Hard Things To Hear, #3: It’s A Man Thing

  1. Wow! What a great message for the modern man!


  2. Lina

    I’m a social worker working with families and I see this dynamic all – the – time. ALL the time. You expressed it very well; I’ll pass this along.


  3. Pingback: Hard Things To Hear #1 : It’s a Clean Thing | The Curmudgeonly Librarian

  4. Pingback: Hard Things To Hear, #2: It’s a Clear Thing | The Curmudgeonly Librarian

  5. Pingback: Hard Things To Hear, #4: It’s a Woman Thing | The Curmudgeonly Librarian

  6. Pingback: Hard Things To Hear, #5: It’s Not About You, Dude! | The Curmudgeonly Librarian

  7. Pingback: Hard Things to Hear #6: Lady, It’s Not About You! | The Curmudgeonly Librarian

  8. Pingback: Hard Things To Hear, #7: The End of the Matter | The Curmudgeonly Librarian

  9. Pingback: “A Wife’s Heart”: Colloquy’s End | The Curmudgeonly Librarian

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